“How do you do a don’t?” the young child of an acquaintance recently asked. I like this question. It relates to the work I do, helping people stay positive while organizing through a transition.
I also found it to be a good question because it caused me to notice bumper stickers that say, “Hate is NOT a family value” and “War is NOT the answer.” While I agree with these sentiments, I ponder the negative nature of the messages. If you don’t “do” hate, or war, what do you do?
Here’s another message I notice: “Fight breast cancer.” While I certainly agree, I also realize it could be stated as “Support breast health.”
When life thrusts a transition upon you — or you choose it for yourself — and there are things to let go of and new situations to embrace, there’s organizing that needs to be carried out. It’s easy to get into the negatives: Don’t rush. Don’t panic. Don’t worry. I always ask myself and others, what are the positive messages? Staying positive is one of the keys to organizing and transitioning successfully.
Organizing is a step-by-step process. It can be very challenging, and I’ve noticed the negatives make it much tougher. The first step in organizing is to let go, simplify, and reduce the flow in. This organizing step can be very challenging and cause a lot of negatives to surface: Grief, guilt, shame, doubts, fears, obligation … the list goes on.
So, while you’re organizing through a transition, as each negative thought or emotion rears its head, make deliberate choices. The first step: Cultivate an awareness that you’re being negative. It’s okay. There’s power in admitting the truth of what is. The next step: Replace the negatives with positives.
It’s sometimes useful to write a gratitude list. Or at least stop for a moment and do a mental gratitude list. Write down or think of everything for which you are grateful. No doubt, a lot of things will come to mind. The other thing that can be valuable is remembering the benefits of organizing. These strategies will help.